Let’s Celebrate Government Bureaucracies!

(My friend and contributing writer Guy Heston has always been a keen observer of the doings of bureaucracies of all sorts.  It's good to have him send his thoughts on the subject for publication.)

Just so you know, next Tuesday is National Government Bureaucracy Appreciation Day. How do I know this? Because I have declared it so.

I always thought there was some government bureaucracy in the deep bowels of Washington, D.C., that approved national days of this or that, but it turns out there is no such bureaucracy. There is nationaldaycalendar.com, a website that makes a valiant effort serving as a gatekeeper of its officially approved national days of this or that. But anybody can declare a national day and promote it on social media, or if they've got extra money laying around, a full-page ad in The New York Times. Thus we have National Coffee Day, National Hazelnut Cake Appreciation Day, National Squirrel Appreciation Day and the quaint National Heimlich Maneuver Day. That squirrel day really fries me as I have spent many an hour trying to keep squirrels from pilfering in our back yard, but let the squirrels have their day of appreciation.

And now, thanks to yours truly, we have National Government Bureaucracy Appreciation Day—please mark your calendar for next Tuesday. Why on earth would I declare such a day? Because, having spent 32 years as a government bureaucrat (I preferred to think of it as public service) many a time I suffered the slings and arrows of public comment along the lines of I was feeding at the public trough and wouldn’t be able to make it in the private sector if I tried. For the record, I did work in the private sector and got along quite nicely; and, for the record, most of the public vitriol aimed at me was because I wouldn’t or couldn’t do what the commenter was demanding and I was therefore deemed a miscreant.

The worst slings and arrows were often, unfortunately, from the press. This is not a media bashing article, but I do wish to point out that in their role as government watchdog, some members of the fourth estate rely on tired stereotypes of government officials, assuming we are clueless, insensitive and cavalier.

Here’s an example. In his January 11 commentary column in The LasVegas Review-Journal -- he could have subtitled it “Give up your cars!” -- columnist Victor Joecks held court on his theory that global warming is highly over-rated and unloaded the usual vocabulary about government officials when you disagree with them. In this case said officials were bringing forth such proposals as more high occupancy vehicle lanes and reduced use of natural gas, which Mr. Joeck’s vehemently disagreed with. So said officials were naturally described by him as pen pushers and bean counters. 

I have no problem with Mr. Joecks opposing HOV lanes and such. But he could show a little more respect for those who work in the public sector. Pillory the proposals if you wish, but let’s not get into stereotypes about pushing pens and counting beans. There are many tired stereotypes of journalists (see Rosalind Russell and Cary Grant in “My Girl Friday”), but I’m not going to go there because it is a disservice to journalists and the country. I submit the same holds true of public servants.

Finally, now that the Super Bowl is over and our great nation prepares to celebrate National Government Bureaucracy Appreciation Day, may I call your attention to the President’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, the famous expert on Middle East relations, who according to The Washington Post has created the Office of American Innovation, dedicated to improving how the government works. Speaking as a former government bureaucrat, I can confidently advise Mr. Kushner this office will require bureaucrats to run it. There is delicious irony in his creating a government bureaucracy to address the government bureaucracy.

Personally, I’m kind of fond of most government bureaucrats, such as the ones who get me through the airport safely, make sure the road gets fixed, etc. It isn’t always pretty and there is sometimes corruption and certainly room for improvement, but it’s a pretty good system in my view.

As the famous journalist Linda Ellerbee says, “And so it goes.”